Sex guidelines as per Ayurveda - you have not read this before

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Sex guidelines as per Ayurveda - you have not read this before


Ayurveda offers some guidelines about when it’s a good time to get funky, and when the cost may not be worth it.

Let’s look at the mechanisms of sex from the perspective of Ayurveda.

7 Types of Tissue

According to the ancient texts, the human body is made up of 7 types of tissues or dhatus. When we eat, the digestive system transforms our food (and drink) into the most unrefined of these tissues, rasa dhatu (well, first it’s ahara rasa, then it transforms to rasa). Rasa can be seen, in simple terms, as the white part of the blood—blood serum. Rasa also means the juice of a plant or the sap of the tree, so usually I like to think of rasa as our “sap”.

Over the course of about one month, the body and its agnis (digestive fire—each tissue has its own agni) transform some portion of this rasa into increasingly refined forms until our sexual fluids and tissues are produced. Just as in any process of refinement, the volume of this substance comprises a mere fraction of the original. Sperm and the sexual fluids of both men and women are called sukra dhatu. The female reproductive system, including ovum and reproductive organs are called artava dhatu.

The body goes to enormous expense and effort to produce our sexual tissues, because they form the basis for new life, our creativity and the production of a further refined substance called ojas. We can think of ojas as the honey of the body. It is the pure, refined essence of all of the bodily tissues and it expresses in our vitality, our immunity and our sense of wholeness. It circulates through the body by way of the heart and supports the natural resistance of all of the body tissues.

Apana Vayu

At least one further factor plays in the healthy functioning of our sexuality, a force within the body called apana vayu. Apana vayu—one of 5 vayus or “winds” of the body—resides in the lower half of the body. It regulates the movement of the legs, defecation, menstruation, childbirth and orgasm. The downward, outward movement of healthy apana also provides us with a sense of “rootedness”.

The “Cost” of Orgasm

We can probably all agree that there are many benefits to orgasm. Besides feeling good, research has shown that among other things, an orgasm per week can reduce the risk of mild depression and heart disease, boost immunity and strengthen the pelvic floor. Lovemaking also can trigger a release of oxytocin and connect us more deeply with our partner.

But under some circumstances, sex—especially orgasm—can have a detrimental effect on our health and wellbeing. Inherently, sex provokes vata dosha. This means that it has a stimulating (duh!) and slightly (or greatly) depleting effect on our bodies. We can say that sex “costs” the sacrifice of some of that hard-won sukra. This can mean less potential production of ojas and therefore, weakened immunity and a weakened sense of wholeness and integration. Too frequent sex also strains apana vayu, resulting in a feeling of “ungroundedness”. When apana vayu becomes chronically imbalanced, it can lead to constipation, insomnia and anxiety.

What’s “Too Much” (and What’s “Not Enough”)

We can draw the most benefit from sex at the lowest “cost” by following some Ayurvedic guidelines. These suggestions vary from advisements on where, when and how to have sex to foods, medicines and practices to mitigate the vata-provoking effect of sex.

Since sex aggravates vata, the best times to have sex are the times of the day and the year when vata expression (wind and space) recedes and kapha influence (earth and water) increases. In the cycle of day and night, this means in the early evening, before about 10pm. In the morning after sunrise but before 10 am may also work for some of us. In the cycle of the year, winter and the beginning of spring best support hanky panky.

For someone in good health and with good strength—lots of earthy stability and calm, full, consistent energy—having sex as frequently as 3-5 times per week can support health during the most kapha predominant times of year. In fact, not having sex (or at least an orgasm) can become a problem for those with ojas to spare.

To quote one of my favorite classic Ayurveda texts, Ashtanga Hrdayam: “Good memory, intelligence, long life, health, nourishment, acuity of sense organs, reputation, strength and slow aging accrue from disciplined (controlled) indulgence in sex.”

From the end of spring through summertime and into the fall, when vata influence increases, reducing the frequency of sex and orgasm becomes most important. The heat and dryness in the environment leave us dry and depleted. We just don’t have much juice to spare. During the hottest and driest part of this period Ayurveda recommends having sex not more than once every week or two weeks.

This is especially important for those with vata strongly expressing in their minds or bodies. Surprisingly, this can sometimes be the most difficult restriction for individuals with a condition of excess vata. In this case, the “high” of orgasm can temporarily relieve feelings of exhaustion and depletion, only to leave us more depleted than before.

Ashtanga Hrdayam chimes in again with: “Giddiness, exhaustion, weakness of the thighs, loss of strength, depletion of tissues, loss of acuity of senses and premature death(!) occur from improper indulgence sex.”

Interestingly, modern research supports the essence of these recommendations with some recent studies. One shows that children born in the months of August-December (meaning mom and dad were getting busy in December-March), have up to a 17% lower risk of suicide later than life than those born between April and July. Other studies have established a strong correlation between birth month and risk of certain cancers, heart disease and Crohn’s disease.

Whatever choices you make about the frequency with which you have sex, there are some things that you can do to lessen the vata-provoking nature of sex. In general, all of these recommendations focus on increasing your exposure to moist, cool, smooth influences and reducing your exposure to dry, hot, rough influences.

o Approach sex as a form of nourishment and opportunity for deep connection with your partner.

o Choose foods and drinks that nourish rasa dhatu and shukra dhatu (moist, cool, smooth), such as: ghee, rice pudding, coconut juice, bone broth and milk (especially cow, but goat and almond aren’t too bad as substitutes).

o Practice abhyanga (self massage with oil) in the morning before bathing, especially during the hottest and driest parts of the year.

o Bucket-bathe with cool water after sex and redress in soft, clean clothes or pajamas.

Here’s a quick recipe for post-sex milk-tonic: (Serves 2)

2 cups milk (raw cow milk is best, but goat or almond will also work)

½ tsp. ghee

½ tsp. ginger

½ tsp. turmeric

½ tsp. cardamom

6 threads saffron

2 tsp. maple syrup or 1 tsp. jaggery (indian raw sugar)

Add all ingredients to a small saucepan and heat gently on a low setting.

Bring milk to the barest simmer and then remove from heat.

Divide into 2 mugs and enjoy



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